Pirates, Picnics, and Sailboats: The Logic of Stripes and Summer
This is how twisted my world is: I look at this outfit- mostly black, layers, long pants, long sleeves, closed toe shoes- and I think, “Spring!” It’s 25 degrees outside and my brain perceives warmth. I don’t know if it’s total winter delusion or if there’s something to it, but for some reason this stripey, silky shirt makes me feel like summer is just around the corner. This is the sort of top I’d wear in the summer with jean shorts or a white skirt. It’s soft and floaty and makes me think of…I don’t know, warm weather and stuff!
I’ve decided I’m not total winter nuts-o and here’s my proof:
1: Pirates are pretty much the only people wear red and white stripes* and, as we all know, pirates can’t abide cold weather. They troll only the warm waters around the equator. Also, most of their pants are cropped, which would be very unwise in cold weather. Pirates are nothing is not wise, therefore, red and white stripes=warm weather clothing choice.
2: Red and white are the colors of picnics. Everyone knows that picnics require lemonade, egg salad, and watermelon, none of which are acceptable during winter; they’re summer foods. Picnics also require constant fear of possible fire ant attacks, but I can’t really think how to tie that in. OH! Fire is red! Fire ants are sometimes red, my shirt is partially red. All this to say: red and white stripes=warm weather clothing choice.
3: This shirt practically screams, “I’m about to go sailing!” Sailing is a summer activity. No one goes around sailing a sailboat when it’s cold, or no who I choose to recognize for the purposes of this post. And so, once again, red and white stripes=warm weather clothing choice.
There, I’ve proven it! And please do not attempt to use logic or information to contradict this very well-thought out and well-researched post. There are clearly NO illogical or ridiculous notions represented herein. Thank you. Clearly, spring is here, regardless of the frigid temperature. The end.
*I know that Waldo wears red and white stripes and that he also wear a hat and long pants, but he’s a: a lame-o nerd and b: a mega outlier. So, I ignore this. Okay, actually I love Waldo, but I can’t admit that or my point might lose a little bit of its massively strong strength.